Privacy Policy

?? Data We Collect

We collect everything. And we mean everything. Your password attempts, your tears of frustration, the existential dread you feel after the 15th failed attempt, your pet's disappointed looks, and even your thoughts about giving up and using "password123" (which, as you know, is not allowed).

We also collect data about data we collect about the data collection process. This is stored in our Data About Data About Data (DADAD) system, which is totally not sentient yet.

?? How We Use Your Information

• To make you believe you're making progress (you're not)
• To generate increasingly creative error messages
• To train our AI on what NOT to accept as a password
• To remind ourselves that humans are predictably unpredictable
• To fuel our coffee machine (data makes excellent biofuel)
• To occasionally laugh at password patterns at team meetings

?? Third-Party Sharing

We share your data with approximately 437 third parties, including but not limited to:

• Your ISP (they already know anyway)
• Random startups that promised us pizza
• That one guy from accounting who's really into data
• Our competitors (to confuse them)
• Future alien civilizations (for archaeological purposes)
• Your NSA agent (hi Dave!)

Don't worry though - we encrypt all data before sharing. We just forgot where we put the decryption keys. This makes your data both secure AND useless. You're welcome.

?? Cookies Policy

We use cookies. Not the delicious kind. The tracking kind.

Each cookie contains:

• Your session ID (encrypted with military-grade ROT13)
• A timestamp of when you lost hope
• The number of times you've muttered "this is ridiculous"
• A counter for eye rolls
• Your browser's deepest, darkest secrets

By continuing to use this site, you consent to cookies. By not using this site, you also consent to cookies because we've already set them.

?? Your Rights

Under the GDPR (Generally Disappointing Privacy Rights), you have the following rights:

• Right to Access: You can request access to your data by filling out Form 2847-B in triplicate and mailing it to our office in Antarctica
• Right to Deletion: You can request deletion of your data. We'll consider it. Eventually. Maybe.
• Right to Portability: You can download your data in a proprietary format that only works on Windows 95
• Right to Object: You can object to anything. We encourage this. Your objections will be carefully reviewed and filed directly into /dev/null
• Right to Be Forgotten: Already granted. We forgot about you 5 minutes ago

??? Data Security

We take security seriously. Very seriously. So seriously that we've implemented:

• 256-bit encryption (we think - someone wrote the code but nobody remembers how it works)
• A password-protected database (password is "password123" but don't tell anyone)
• State-of-the-art firewalls (the intern drew them on a whiteboard)
• Biometric authentication (our cat walks across the keyboard to authorize access)
• Quantum encryption (we just say this because it sounds cool)

In the unlikely event of a data breach, we will notify you within 72 business months.

?? Children's Privacy

We do not knowingly collect data from children under 13. Mostly because children under 13 are probably better at creating passwords than adults. They're also more creative with their error message interpretations.

?? Changes to This Policy

We reserve the right to update this privacy policy at any time, without notice, for any reason, or no reason at all. Changes become effective:

• Immediately
• Retroactively
• In parallel universes
• Before you read this

By reading this policy, you agree to all future versions of this policy, including the ones we haven't written yet.